Giant Pink Elephant In The Room.

I've had a few days to digest the reality, and I think I've finally come to terms with it. It's shocking, it's heart breaking, it's disturbing, and yes, it's deeply depressing.

But it's time to put it out there and talk about it:

I heard the news about The Big Guy from...Perez Hilton.

That's right, the genius who scribbles penises across celebrities faces (way to puss out from my challenge, Hilton!), was one of the first to break the news.

Admitting this is truly embarrassing, but embracing and accepting the shame is the first step in letting it go. At least that's what Kathy Hilton told me, and I think she's had a lot of practice.

And yes, while it's comforting to know that at least I don't have to accept that a racist, retarded piece of elephant shit whorebag is my flesh and blood, this is still pretty bad.

In fact, on a Top 10 List Of Things To Be Embarrassed About, learning the news from Perez rates about a 4. Coming in ahead, are the following:

3. When asked for a business card from a potential employer, you dig around in your bag and pull out a super-plus tampon instead. And when you say, "Well I can still write my number down the side here (chuckle, chuckle), and hey, I guess you can give this to your wife to use when you get home...so, two birds, right?", the joke (incredulously!) falls flat.

2. Approaching Tyson Beckford in a Miami hotel and genuinely asking, "I don't want to bother you, but does it annoy you when random people come up to you and ask you a question?"

1. At the age of 11, asking Great Aunt Tina how long she's been married to Great Uncle Tom, only to learn that Tina and Tom are brother and sister. In my defense, my observational skills have increased since this incident...and perhaps because of this.

Listen, Perez is a favorite for all things Lohanorexia or Matthew McConaugHey Put A Shirt On, but breaking news about The Big Guy...?

Embarrassing.